I Am....

A Woman who:

was Happy in her childhood
and was torn away  to a madhouse

struggled through her teenage years
Not Cool Enough
Not Pretty Enough
and fit in where ever I could

sat in the corner and spoke to no one
and was The Weird One
The Goth One
The Loner
but was really lost and afraid

realized she was pretty far too late
but still cannot and will not use that
the way other Pretty Girls do

Thinks she is Beautiful
Thinks she is Ugly
Thinks she is Brilliant
Thinks she is Stupid

Is Strong

Is Weak

is an Extroverted Introvert

can talk for hours and still tell you Nothing.

Is calm and controlled because
she is filled with anger

looks in the mirror and
likes her body and face
but looks inside her mind
and is terrified of what lay there

can make you laugh
until you are in tears.
can make a joke of anything
but feels no joy when she does it

who hates to be alone
but always is, because that is the safest place to be

keeps people out
because when she lets them in
they always leave

either gives too much
or not at all

doesn’t know any middle ground

is lost and found

has more discipline that
most people do
discipline that drives her
and got her this far in life
but cannot fix the One Thing That Is Really Wrong

Will reach out to a friend in need
walk through fire for them,
hold them strong
defend them to the death
But doesn’t know how to ask for help.

Who is a contradiction
Fire and Ice

People want to get to know
And when the do
They run away

Is self aware but has no idea who she is.